Helluva Weekend

Well I had a helluva a weekend. It must have been the Friday blog post lambasting Aunt Flo and her relatives. She called in for support and got it. Late Friday afternoon I was in the beginnings of what I was certain would be a slow painful death. In addition to the old battle ace and her kin, I was experiencing nausea, the likes of which I hadn’t experienced in years. I spent the next 12 hours either sitting on the porcelain throne or praying to it.

Flashes of fever and chills, actual stomach pains in addition to the cramps left me curled in a fetal position while my 2 year old granddaughter played all around my bedroom. Fortunately, she none too interested in the contents of my drawers. Lord knows what she would have found there.

The upchuck, er upshot of this is that I lost weight of course. By Sunday I was down several pounds but knew better than to put much stock in those numbers. After being sick, it takes a day or two for my weight to stabilize. And stabilize it did. This morning I weighed in at 253.9. This puts me at -7.8 for January so far.

I won’t even waste your time with listing my dietary consumption over the weekend. It was nonexistent Friday and Saturday wasn’t much better. I just tried to keep down what I could. Sunday was better but even the thought of certain foods made my stomach roil with displeasure. So it was easy-does-it. I did however, watch my carbs Sunday. Exercise – you’ve got to be kidding me. I had enough running back and forth to the bathroom to make up a marathon.

The stomach is still a bit sensitive and squeamish but I will manage. I do think I have developed another ear infection though – the second one in as many months. I know, I know. I’m such a mess. This business of getting healthy is killing me. I’ll be making a call to the doctor’s office in an hour or two to see about getting some antibiotics

Writing on my novel didn’t happen either. But I am back in the saddle today. I did get some paying work done yesterday and I’m looking forward to working today. Perhaps I will be able to scratch a few fictional words as well. Stay tuned.

Menopause or PMS –One or the Other, Please

At 50, I am at the glorious stage of life where I am transitioning into my favorite person, Maxine. Yep, everything on my body is a clear cut roadmap pointing south. My distance vision is so poor I mistake my son for my husband. Thankfully that clears up as we get closer to one another because with my personality, there’s no telling how that boy might be scarred for life by my words or deeds if I thought it was still darling hubby.

Though I am predominantly a positive-minded person, there are days when Maxine’s sarcasm and impatience creep into my soul. I find this to especially be the case on days like yesterday and today. One of the other joys about this age is the cessation of menstruation. That’s right, no more monthly visits from Aunt Flo or her twin sister Aunt Cramps-from-Hell. Or so we’re told.

The transition, which I’ve learned can go on for years, includes skipping your monthly visits for 2, 3 even 6 months at a time. Just when you think the dynamic duo of pain and chaos are out of your life for good…BAM! They come calling with a mind to make up for lost time. For me anyway, it seems the longer these two titans of terror stay away, the worse the next visit is.

The pair showed up this week. Back when I had regular visits form them, I saw the signs of their impending descent upon my life. A full day of being a bitch on wheels accompanied by a day or two of a ravenous appetite that left even my granddaughter’s Gerber Toddler desserts fair game. Now, because I am lulled into a false sense of “maybe they’ve gone for good” by an extended absence, those signs sneak up on me and I don’t recognize for what they really are.

Earlier this week I was really struggling to keep from eating everything in the house that either tasted sweet or crunched. Even the French’s Fried Onion Bits were calling to me at one point in spite of my knowing how badly they taste before baking – yes in an earlier demon-like possession, I have eaten them out of the canister. When the tag team of Hurt ‘Em and Leave ‘Em Bleedin’ showed up, all became clear.

The good news is that I managed to fend off the worst of their predatory advances and even lose a tiny bit of weight. Today’s end of the week weigh-in finds me 255.4 bring the New Year’s total to -6.3. It’s not the 15 pound weight loss Atkins promises from their induction phase but then I haven’t been the ideal Inductee. I would have to say that all things considered, it hasn’t been a bad start. I just wish this body of mine would make up its mind…menopause or menstruation. This duality is killing me.

Bad Eating Habits Are Like a Drug Addiction for Me

Mid-week weigh-in is 256.3, up just a few tenths of a pound from last week. Not worried at all. I managed 5 glasses of water yesterday and Tuesday. My goal for the week was 2 per day so I am thrilled with that. And I have exercised on both Monday and Tuesday, so again I am satisfied with the progress. It will take time to melt this layer of fat I have built over the last 15 years.

The things holding me back? Well instead of making Chicken Kung Pao the other night as I had planned, I made nachos at the family’s request. I figured I could eat the meat and cheese, a little sour cream and be within my carb range. If I had done that, I would have been fine. But later that night, I felt deprived so I went to the kitchen to get a few nacho chips. Of course I couldn’t eat them plain so I added some cheese, sour cream and a teaspoon of guacamole. Yep, I killed my accomplishments for the day with that snack. Had I just allowed myself a few chips at dinner, I might not have given in to temptation. Better still, I should have stuck to my plan and made the chicken.

For me, the bad food habits feel like other bad habits I’ve had, particularly smoking. When I quit smoking, the beginning of the serious weight gain for me, I had to be removed from it completely. I had to get rid of all the ashtrays and lighters I owned. I couldn’t be in closed up places where there was smoking because the concentrated smell was too enticing. I had to avoid people who smoked, including my mother, because I didn’t trust myself not to bum a smoke.

If those nachos weren’t in the house, I wouldn’t have eaten them. I know I have to get to a point where I can just say no but it’s like leaving a filled crack pipe in front of an addict! For pity sakes! There’s no way I can say no right now. So I am going to have to police myself and my kitchen better. Fortunately, because I work at home, I don’t get out of the house very often. This reduces the temptation to stop for fast food or snacks at the gas station. I just need to keep the unhealthy food choices to a minimum in my own kitchen and should, in theory, be able to get over the hump.

As for the writing, I did actually open the file. I skimmed the story, re-read my character outline and began writing. I only added about 300 words but it was like getting a letter from an old friend. The rest of the evening, I found myself thinking about my characters like you would characters from your favorite television show…’I wonder how Maddie is doing? What will she do next? Will she tell Jack how she feels? And Jack…how will he ever reveal his truths to Maddie? Will she understand or will she slap him before turning to leave forever?’ My mind is awhirl with the possibilities. I sense another writing encounter later today.

Water, Exercise and Working on My Novel as This Week's Goals

The official Monday weigh-in has me at 255.5, a loss of 6.2 lbs. for the first 9 days. I am more than pleased with that. There were some bumps along the way during the first week-plus but I’ve learned a few things and I’m still here.

I recently read a column by a fellow writer who is also on a weight loss journey, Brett Day. He started his journey in October of 2010. If I am reading his weight ticker thingy correctly, he started at 333 pounds and has lost just over 47 lbs. since he began. In this post, he gives his tips for how to lose and keep the weight the weight off without gimmicks, fads or crazy diets. It is definitely worth reading.

I didn’t get in as much as exercise last week as I had hoped to. My goal is 4 30-minute sessions of cardio this week. I am also committing to at least 2 glasses of water per day. I know that’s only ¼ of what I am supposed to drink but it’s a start and its more than I have been drinking.

In other news, I have decided to finish writing the novel I began for NaNoWriMo in 2009. I got over 33000 words done then and now I am determined to bring it to a conclusion. With the other responsibilities in my life, it will be slow going but that fits right into my “baby steps” approach to life. I think I will include weekly updates on how the novel is proceeding as a way of keeping myself accountable. What do you think?

Three Days In – What I’ve Learned So Far

I am really pleased with how well I’ve been doing overall. Yes, I’ve identified a couple of weak spots but I’ll come back to that. So far, I have managed to keep the net carbs in line, except for the first day when the Reese’s Peanut butter Cups called my name.

Using the Dance Central game has been a fun way to get my but off the couch everyday too. I am doing 30 mins a day but that’s really loosely stated as there are times when you are not actually doing anything like when a song is loading. Still, my heart is pumping faster, breathing is more rapid and I break sweat. So it’s all good. Once I get a little more acclimated to working out again, I hope to continue to challenge myself. With longer worker outs, different activities and higher intensities.

This morning I weighed in at 254.4. My eyes popped and my feet did a little jig right there in the bathroom – not a pretty sight at 5:15 AM but I didn’t care. That a 5.3 lb. loss since I started on Jan. 1. I don’t even care if its water weight. I knew I was going to see a loss…I could feel it before I even stepped on the scale. Seems funny to say that at 250+ lbs., you can feel a 1 lb. loss. I couldn’t have told you how much but I knew it. There’s a little more pep in my step and when I fix my plate, I look at the food and think “I can’t eat all that!” So my stomach must be adjusting to the portion control too.

The negatives? Well, my feet hurt. Just those 30 mins of activity at my weight is a strain my feet aren’t used too. The first night, I kept waking up with spasms in my foot. I have been wearing good supportive footwear but let’s face it – I’m 50 and I’m fat. It’s going to take my body a little time to get it together.

Another negative is that I am still struggling with late night snacking. Not struggling really, more like losing the battle. I have snacked every night but so far (after the Reese’s) making better choices. I discovered that while I bought enough fresh vegetables for my meals, I did not buy enough for snacking. I will be picking up some crunchy veggies today. One combination I really enjoy is fresh cauliflower with 2 tbsp. of jalapeno ranch dressing. Between the snappy taste of the dressing and the crunch of the cauliflower, it really does feel a bad-for-you snack.

Last negative. I am not drinking enough water. I need to work on that. One glass a day is not cutting it but I am having trouble making myself drink water. I would love some tips if any of you have any. Feel free to leave them in the comments.

The First Day Is in the Bag

Getting started is often the hardest part of changing your habits. I saw this in action first hand yesterday as I rolled out my plans for low carb eating and exercise. I was prepared. I have done my homework. I collected a variety of recipes to get me through the induction phase of the Atkins plan, done the necessary shopping for that menu and even provided healthy choices for snacks.

Yes, I’m a snack eater, mostly in the evenings. I don’t know why it hits me then. It’s an ingrained habit that has transpired over years. I finish working for the day, sit down in front of the television and I need to snack. Maybe “need” isn’t the right word but you know what I mean.

Anyhow, after a nearly perfect day of less than 1400 calories and just 19 carbs, I indulged. At 9:00 at night, I opened a candy cane of Reese’s peanut butter cups and ate them…all. What was I thinking? “It’s New Year’s Day- I’ll start the diet tomorrow.” Naturally that kind of thinking won’t get me very far at changing my old habits.

I did exercise yesterday however. We purchased a Kinect for our Xbox 360 for Christmas and a couple of games. The one I thought I would like is Dance Central and I was right. I love to dance. As a matter of fact, that’s how I met my husband but that’s a story for another blog post. Anyway, I like the way the game teaches you the moves. You can choose the difficulty level and you can spend as much time as you need to, learning the moves, before you actually “perform.” It helped immensely that I kicked my hubby’s butt at it!

The game is meant to be played for fun so it doesn’t give you and stats on calories burned or anything like that. While I’m a statistics geek and like to know those things, the beauty of the game is that it IS fun. You don’t notice the time passing. You just enjoy the game. And BTW- no, this is not a paid endorsement. I would tell you if it was.

So this morning, I hesitated before visiting the bathroom scale, fearing it would reprimand me for my Reese’s infraction and that retribution would be swift and gruesome. I was surprised to see a nearly 4 pound loss! I tried the scale several times, even moving it to different locations in the room to make sure it was right. The reading never faltered. I weighed 255.9.

Obviously I am delighted with the outcome but I know to continue my late night, unhealthy snacking would only be tempting fate. Fortunately, I believe most of the left over Christmas temptations are gone now.  I am looking forward to today’s round of Dance Central and the Curry Chicken and Indian Spiced Cauliflower I am making for dinner. 

Hope you are doing well in the early days of setting and achieving your goals.

Resolutions for New Year's

It is January 1^st, that time when many of us set goals, make resolutions and try to overcome our personal demons with promises to ourselves. Some people don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions and I get that. I think any time of year is a good time to make changes. The trick is believing you can really make them.

That’s why I like New Year’s. Many of my friends and family are in the same boat as me. We are all trying to change something in our lives that needs tweaking. The resolutions run the gamut from losing weight to getting their finances in order. I have MANY of the same goals as my friends. I want get my financial life straightened out, become more organized, and be a nicer, more caring person and I want to lose weight.

So here I sit and this beautiful, sunny New Year’s day, wondering how to renew my resolutions and actually make serious progress this year. I started my weight loss blogging journey about 2 years ago and as I stepped off the scale today, I faced the fact that not only did I not make progress in 2011, I gained back much of what I lost in 2010.

Oh sure, I had a rough year, like 2/3 of Middle America and I tend to use food as a comfort tool but seriously? Gained all but 6 lbs of it back? So not only am I wondering how to be successful this year, I am wondering how I can ask anyone to take the journey with me as I am certainly no inspiration to anyone. Someone said to me they liked reading about my “honest evaluation of the challenges.” I found that little nugget of encouragement inspiring. It was followed by others who are also supportive friends. Several felt that others are in the same boat and would like to know it’s never too late to try again.

So after two years of virtually no progress, I am starting again. I weighed in 261.7 and at 5’ 6”, which means I have roughly 110 lbs to lose to be at a comfortable and healthy weight for me. At 50 years old, the time to make changes is here and I realize I don’t have many more years before the abuse I have heaped upon my body will start to show in ways both harmful and that make it even more difficult to shed the pounds.

I am a fan of low carb living and that is where I will start. I’ve already eaten both breakfast and lunch and my total net carbs are at 5.5 today. I will post my weight and my measurements frequently, in hopes that it will help keep me accountable to myself and to all of you.

I wish you a Happy New Year and great success with your goals, no matter what are.

P Is for Practice Makes Perfect

When it comes to weight loss, Lord knows, I’ve had plenty of practice. I’ve been losing weight for years. The problem is I keep gaining it too. Like many of you, I have tried many different methods to control my eating and my weight. Sometimes this involved mild attempts at starvation that naturally resulted in binging when my body could no longer handle the lack of food. I have tried diets that focused a single food such as the grapefruit diet and the cabbage soup diet. I’ve tried different plans like counting calories, counting grams of fats and currently counting carbs.

I’ve also tried exercise. I am not a natural athlete. I did not come from a family of physically active people. Activity of this nature takes great effort for me. I do not enjoy the physical strain, getting sweaty (remember, I live in a moderately southern locale with no air conditioning) or the muscle pains that come from working out with a body used to a sedentary life. Still I have tried. I have used a treadmill mill vigorously for months, taken exercise classes like basic step, Zumba and aerobics. I have used a swimming pool and had partners who walked with me 3 to 4 times a week for months.

When everything is going right, I have been able to shed more than a few pounds but let something happen to upset the apple cart and I’m thrown off my game. It seems any disruption in a newly developing routine, even a couple of months into it, is an excuse to fall completely off course and revert to old patterns. Yes, practice make perfect.

However, in spite of some dietary straying this weekend due to a currently stressful financial situation (yes, an excuse – I know!), I am still determined to keep trying.

This morning I weighed in at 249.9. So, considering the bad weekend, that’s not too bad. I had my low carb breakfast, a dish I will share below, and feel ready to face the week. In addition to maintaining a strong commitment to eating low carb this week, I am pledging to exercise at least 4 times for a minimum of 30 minutes each time. Practice makes perfect.

Sausage & Egg Casserole

8 oz. bulk pork sausage

3 oz. cream cheese, softened

3 eggs

1 oz. heavy whipping cream or half & half

Break the sausage into crumbles and brown. Cut the cream cheese into small chunks and add to the sausage. Stir for 1 to 2 minutes to melt the cream cheese a bit. Add the cream and stir to keep cheese from sticking and cream from scalding. When most of the cheese is melted, add the eggs. Stir to break yolks and blend. Keep stirring until eggs are done. Serves 2

Net carbs per serving 1.5

O Is for OMG!

I’m overweight. There is no other way to look at it. You can’t be a woman, 5’ 6” tall and weigh well over 200 pounds and not know that you’re overweight. It is no secret to me. But I have had a few OMG moments, usually involving mirrors or photographs.

I don’t own a full-length mirror. The only mirrors in my house are in the bathrooms and they only reflect from the shoulders up. No – I didn’t have them specially designed to do that though I would if I could. They are over the sinks and that just happens to be where they are placed. This has allowed me to live in ignorant bliss about what the rest of my body looks like to the rest of the world.

I had an OMG moment recently when I used a public restroom that did have a full-length mirror. I was in total disbelief. I don’t know where I thought those 250 pounds were hanging out at but apparently they are hanging out all over because the creature staring back at me in the mirror was huge! Mammoth!

There I was, or some carnival-house-of-mirrors version of me, in jean shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers looking like a blue-clad version of the Stay Puft  Marshmallow man. There was a definite roundness to the middle of me and my arms hung in curves around my girth instead of dangling down beside me.

Lets’ not even talk about my face -that round orb with no neck that seems to begin where my shoulders leave off. Yes, I had an OMG moment. It reaffirmed to me in a way no number on a scale could that I really need to do something.

So in my continuing (and seemingly endless) efforts to shed the Stay Puft Marshmallow man, who is masquerading as me, I am still pursuing the low-carb diet. This week I tried a wonderful Spinach & bacon salad with dressing that I will share with you. Having come from the old school of “FAT IS BAD,” I was taught to trim away fat and soak up the extra grease off of my bacon. So when I read that I was supposed to use the bacon grease to make the dressing, I was skeptical but it was…OMG! Delicious!

Here is the recipe:

Spinach Salad with Hot Bacon Dressing

1 bag fresh baby spinach

1/4 c chopped onion

4 slices bacon

2 hardboiled eggs, chopped

1/4 cup vinegar

1 tsp Splenda

Salt and pepper to taste

Cook bacon and allow it to drain on paper towel but keep bacon grease in pan. Add vinegar, pepper and Splenda to bacon grease. Stir and heat slowly until boiling. Tear spinach into salad sized pieces and toss with egg, onion and crumbled bacon.

Immediately pour on hot dressing and toss lightly.

Yields 2 servings

Total Net carbs: 5 grams per serving

N Is for New

I think I need a new scale. I know in the early days of following a low carb diet you can see some significant weight loss but my scale said 249 this morning. I tried it three times to be sure. I just don’t feel as if I’ve lost 6 lbs. since Monday and usually I can feel that kind of weight loss. Oh well, I am not going to obsess about it.

Yesterday morning I made a new recipe, sausage and egg muffins for breakfast. I used Johnsonville Four Cheese Italian sausage because the recipe called for Italian sausage and these are my favorite kind. I loved them though the husband was unsure. He’s a little quirky sometimes. If he’s expecting a certain taste and doesn’t get it, he then judges the dish not to his liking rather than judging the dish on its own merit without expectation. He expected the typical pork breakfast sausage and when it wasn’t, he thought the dish tasted “off”. Personally, I enjoyed it immensely. The recipe calls for you to bake the eggs. I’ve never cared for the texture of baked eggs in the past but this dish really worked. Here’s the recipe:

Sausage and Egg Muffins

6 oz. Ital. sausage

6 eggs

1/8 cup heavy cream

3 oz. cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Spray large muffin pans with cooking spray. Cut sausage links and place them 2 to a tin. Mix eggs with cream, salt and pepper. Pour into tins over sausage. Sprinkle with ½ cheese, layer on remaining egg mixture and top off with cheese again. Bake for approximately 20 minutes or until eggs are done.

Yields 3 servings

Total Net carbs: 2.3 grams per serving

I used 2 full Italian sausages, added 1 egg and a pinch more cheese to stretch this to 4 servings.

The bacon cheeseburger recipe I tried was less impressive and will need a major overhaul. It just wasn’t flavorful enough as written. I won’t share the recipe since in my book it was a flop. When I get it right I’ll post it.

Still getting over a summer cold that has settled in my lungs, I didn’t exercise yesterday but I have plans of doing so today. The cold seems much better this morning – it doesn’t hurt much when I take a deep breath. Also on the agenda is some house cleaning, a little time out on the riding mower before the jungle takes over and canning tomatoes.

Yes, in the 90+ degree weather, I am canning. I’m not sure why tomatoes have to ripen in the hottest time of the season but they do so I will be blanching and canning all morning. 25 lbs. will go into salsa and 25 lbs. into diced tomatoes with garlic, basil and oregano. Yummy!