Thursday, January 12, 2012

Bad Eating Habits Are Like a Drug Addiction for Me

Mid-week weigh-in is 256.3, up just a few tenths of a pound from last week. Not worried at all. I managed 5 glasses of water yesterday and Tuesday. My goal for the week was 2 per day so I am thrilled with that. And I have exercised on both Monday and Tuesday, so again I am satisfied with the progress. It will take time to melt this layer of fat I have built over the last 15 years.
The things holding me back? Well instead of making Chicken Kung Pao the other night as I had planned, I made nachos at the family’s request. I figured I could eat the meat and cheese, a little sour cream and be within my carb range. If I had done that, I would have been fine. But later that night, I felt deprived so I went to the kitchen to get a few nacho chips. Of course I couldn’t eat them plain so I added some cheese, sour cream and a teaspoon of guacamole. Yep, I killed my accomplishments for the day with that snack. Had I just allowed myself a few chips at dinner, I might not have given in to temptation. Better still, I should have stuck to my plan and made the chicken.
For me, the bad food habits feel like other bad habits I’ve had, particularly smoking. When I quit smoking, the beginning of the serious weight gain for me, I had to be removed from it completely. I had to get rid of all the ashtrays and lighters I owned. I couldn’t be in closed up places where there was smoking because the concentrated smell was too enticing. I had to avoid people who smoked, including my mother, because I didn’t trust myself not to bum a smoke.
If those nachos weren’t in the house, I wouldn’t have eaten them. I know I have to get to a point where I can just say no but it’s like leaving a filled crack pipe in front of an addict! For pity sakes! There’s no way I can say no right now. So I am going to have to police myself and my kitchen better. Fortunately, because I work at home, I don’t get out of the house very often. This reduces the temptation to stop for fast food or snacks at the gas station. I just need to keep the unhealthy food choices to a minimum in my own kitchen and should, in theory, be able to get over the hump.
As for the writing, I did actually open the file. I skimmed the story, re-read my character outline and began writing. I only added about 300 words but it was like getting a letter from an old friend. The rest of the evening, I found myself thinking about my characters like you would characters from your favorite television show…’I wonder how Maddie is doing? What will she do next? Will she tell Jack how she feels? And Jack…how will he ever reveal his truths to Maddie? Will she understand or will she slap him before turning to leave forever?’ My mind is awhirl with the possibilities. I sense another writing encounter later today.


Sass Ashe said...

I've come very close to telling the family that carbs aren't allowed in the house. They ate french fries and cheeseburgers the other night. I had a ground beef patty with cheese on it and 2 boiled eggs. It wouldn't be such a hardship if they'd just stop eating in front of me!

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