Bad habits are what made me fat, aren’t they? I didn’t exercise enough, I ate the wrong foods. I ate too much of the right foods. I ate to comfort myself. I ate to celebrate. I ate when I was depressed. I avoided really looking in the mirror so I wouldn’t have to see the thing I was becoming. I avoided the scale because I didn’t want its confirmation that I was doing all the wrong things. Bad habits.
My baby steps involve breaking these bad habits. I try to focus on one at a time but then I find one of the others creeps up on me like a stalker in the night and I fall prey to it. Sometimes I am confronted by all of them in one day and the struggle seems insurmountable. Still, here I am, trying to break my bad habits.
Most recently I have been focusing on adding exercise to my daily life. Sometimes this takes the form of doing vigorous yard work. Sometimes it is mind-numbing time spent on the treadmill. Other times it is spent playing active games using the Wii game console. Once a week I attend a Zumba class where I am encouraged y others like me trying to change their lives.
During my pre-fat days, yard work was something I enjoyed immensely. In recent years, the attempt has become a sore reminder of how far I have fallen. In my effort to change this habit though, I remind myself of how I will be able to enjoy this again, if I just keep at it. Finding the games, classes and activities I enjoy has made all the difference.
And as the weeks of the new year have steadily drifted by, the weight slips off in tiny little increments. The best news about focusing on the lack-of-exercise bad habit is that I can feel my energy and stamina return. Everyday activities are not as taxing and actually doing the exercise is less exhausting and more rewarding. Breaking my bad habits looks like the way to go.